I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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