Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
