I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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