he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
