looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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