She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
