I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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