i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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