So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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