I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I believe in your delicious
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
