wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
