It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
