Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
