so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
