On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
