Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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