She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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