allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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