so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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