Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
