If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
