I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
