What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
