I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
