Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
