I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
