I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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