I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I faked an abortion last night.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
