i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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