Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
