She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
