is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
