I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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