"it" just moved
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
