on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
