i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
