we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
