are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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