I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
