Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
