i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
