Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
