I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Pants are for mortals
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