so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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