I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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