Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
