She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
