absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
