If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
