To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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