Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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