That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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