If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
