Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
