Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
